Love and Life

Begin Again.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection. – Wendell Berry

Wednesday was my last day of teaching, and it was a good one. My students shouted French recitations with a-typical end-of-the-year energy, I had the students complete the phrase “Je peux dire ____ en francais” and their responses were far-ranging and varied and funny. They’ve come so far. We played a game of “Simon dit” and a girl who I’ve taught two years in a row was the champion, besting a newer student who had taken French since she was 5. I got hugs and sighs and a few teary eyes as we said “au revoir.”

I am sad to say goodbye to the school community that I’ve been a part of now for three years. I will miss it.

And I’m certain I will miss teaching — it has been a part of my identity now for four years. I’ve lesson planned, written tests, made presentations. I’ve laughed and been stern and I’ve tried to act older than I am because, heck, I’m still very young.

But as much as this time feels marked by the end of something, it feels fresh and new and full of possibility. I finished writing the first short story I’ve written in a while, and I think it is my favorite thing I’ve ever written. And I’m increasingly sure about the stories I want to write next to accompany this first new piece, and I feel optimistic about them becoming a collective whole of which I can be proud.

We are also in exciting talks with someone regarding our Dear Balladeer project, more information to come if everything goes as planned.

And the tiny house gets here at the beginning of next week and we are both so excited (and nervous and anxious and eeeek).

But I think the thing I’m most excited about, and no surprise here, is this beautiful opportunity I have to watch my son grow and become more and more his own. I am daily humbled by the task at hand, to try and shape this little life we’ve been blessed with. I am increasingly a fan of Waldorf-inspired parenting literature, and am slowly starting to make changes in our day-to-day as a result of what I’m reading.

Today, I spent some time making a new schedule and routine for Edmond and me. It is certainly a bit ambitious even as I tried to make simplicity its key, but fortunately life does not have to be set in stone. I’m sharing it just because I looked at a lot of other families’ schedules as I made it and would be happy for it to help anyone else looking to build a rhythm for their kids.

At the heart of this new phase of life we’re entering as a family, I want to bring peace to our lives, so that we can truly experience the simple blessings of them. If I am able to do this, and if doing this frees us up to love better and more, than I will consider my life a great success.

Times of transition like these always remind me of Wendell Berry’s “Manifesto.” I’m starting a new trail, striking out to see if this is the right direction.

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